Big Happenings in my Yard

The village I live in has a parade every year in June. It was canceled during the pandemic, and a few weeks ago, it resumed and marched right past my house again. Oh, I missed that parade. It's one of my favorite days of the year. Sitting in a lawn chair in my front yard with people I love and watching fire engines and high school bands march by is one of my sweetest pleasures.

When I was saying goodbye to the last guests and cleaning up, a raven showed up to see if there were any leftovers. She found a Twizzler under the patio table and stood there staring at me for a few seconds with it in her mouth before she hopped a few steps and then flew away. Seeing that magnificent black bird fly off to the top of the pine tree with a red Twizzler dangling from her mouth was a sight. The contrast of colors, her snarky attitude. I loved it.

In my yard, the dahlias are finally emerging. It's like watching water boil for weeks. I worry if the tubers are too deep, not deep enough, rotting from the rain, and then they wiggle up, and I continue watching every day as they stretch to meet the sun.

The biggest thing happening in my yard - I LEFT IT. I went back into the office to work for the first time in over two years. I felt everything - nervous, excited, anxious, relief, worried, joy, awkward. I felt it ALL. Deeply. I didn't get much work done because my brain was swirling, and it was an effort to keep my thoughts organized, but it was mostly nice to see my friends and co-workers outside of the little zoom squares on my monitor.

I still have worries about the world; I didn't expect it all to feel "normal" (whatever the hell that is anymore) after working from home for all that time. But I did it, and I will do it again. I will continue trying to find the rhythm and balance of what works best for me to hang out socially, do my work, and still feel the safety I love of being in my own home.

I felt like that raven a little bit at the end of the day. I felt like I was looking around at the end of a get-together, trying to put together the pieces of what just happened—looking for something sweet.

I took a cookie from the lunch room and went home.

I'm glad I went into the office to work. I'm looking forward to doing it again. I missed my friends. I missed feeling like I was a part of something bigger than my home studio (even tho I didn't know it until I got there).

I forgot how infectious the laughter of my friends is in person.

I missed the parade.

I wonder if the raven ate the Twizzler or if it's sitting in her nest, bright red, sticky from the sun. I wonder about so much.

xo